Snippets of the Heart
by Kisses Reflect
Summary: Losing a loved one is never easy. Percy finds the road to salvation filled with nightmares and depression. Finding a focus is harder than one thinks and he realises that while he may stand at the edge of a cliff, he might not be alone. Two-shot or Three-shot. AH. AU.


**Disclaimer: I have no rights to the Percy Jackson series. Rick Riordan has given a small liberty for us to use his characters unofficially on this site and that is all it is.**

**.**

"_It'll rain acid and ashes instead of stars  
>if you don't focus on my promise but your scars."<em>

_Anonymous_

* * *

><p>To Percy, every breath felt like a claw being dragged through his chest slowly - ripping though the flesh and ribs to pierce his heart. It was agonizing. His entire being was shivering as the shock ebbed away and reality set in. She was gone. She was dead.<p>

He winced as he tried to sit up. His legs ached under the movement. One of them was in a cast. His arms were better off save for the battering of glass shards that his skin had been exposed to. They were wrapped in bandages to keep the cuts closed. Percy lifted his fingers to touch his face. It felt numb.

At least his eyes worked. The place looked blurry, but he blinked and the lights flashed into his vision. The hospital room seemed clear.

His friends visited in the morning. His parents had stayed up all night. He couldn't sleep unless medication was given.

And she was still dead.

As soon as his thoughts echoed from that direction, he gasped, trying to hold the pain back. But it devored him and he held his head, body shaking from the sobs.

.

Graduation was supposed to have been the turning point in their lives. The time when they realised that they were adults and had to get into college or already have a job. The time when they cheered for having made it through high school and looking forward to the future which was within their grasp.

Percy was late in joining the others when they threw the blue caps into the air. They screamed in joy, giving hugs and sharing last minute jokes as everyone felt the sensation of the end of an era.

He gave them brief smiles. Grover looked worried but he shrugged them off and joined in on the hugging sessions.

"Pizza Party!" Leo shouted, slapping arms around Piper and Reyna, both of whom rolled their eyes.

"Dude, I see another pizza, I will puke." Jason warned. "How about the Taco shop down the block? We haven't been there for a while."

Percy moved away as the conversation turned into a tennis match. His mother found him.

"Seems just like yesterday that I was sending you off to kindergarten. And now, you're all grown up and set for the College." Sally whispered as she gave him a bear hug. Percy huffed as he returned the gesture.

"Come on, Mom. I can't even remember primary school. Too many stuff's happened. I'm almost nineteen."

"I know." She sniffed and pulled back, her eyes glistening. She sighed and nodded to his friends. "Are you going with them? Like an after graduation party?"

Percy watched the others. It felt like a whole different world where he felt isolated from. He could feel the extensive joy and was definitely not in the mood to celebrate.

"No."

His mother looked troubled. "Honey, it's been months. I wouldn't mind if you could spend a few hours – "

"Mom, please don't. I can't." He pleaded suddenly looking far too vulnerable. His mother caved in, like she always did at the sadness and patted his cheek.

.

Percy's college fund had been slightly slow to grow and he had to take up a part time job in the evenings if he wanted to keep up with his Bio classes. He had a partial scholarship fund which had dissolved since it would've worked only if he had joined the Swim Team but he had turned down the position.

It had been his girlfriend who'd encouraged him for the spot in school. Ever since the freak accident, he couldn't bring himself to do anything which reminded him of her.

The music she had liked, the favourite movie posters, her hobbies, her shampoo, the pair of converses she would always wear, the little pencil that she would always carry, the way her hair would catch the sun light just right...

Percy swallowed, his movements stopping for a second. He was one of the helpers in a second rate grocery store with its third rate owner and fourth rate air conditioning system. It wasn't the best of works, but it was all he could afford to spend time on after classes. Four hours of helping people find their way through the area for everyday necessities, stacking up extra supplies in the storage room and putting up with one nasty co worker whose uncle owned the place was not worth the amount he was being paid, but he had no other option.

The sun was setting and all he could think of was the way her curls used to brush across his cheeks like soft petals, her scent imprinting itself into his mind.

He steeled himself and directed a newly married couple to the bakery section.

.

A whole year had gone by and the thought made him want to crawl into the nearest hole for eternity. He could still hear her screaming as the truck rammed into them.

Percy's hard earned money was spent on a large bouquet of sunflowers. The day was bright and he was not alone in the cemetery. He saw her mother standing in front of the head stone and he stopped on the footpath, waiting for her to leave. They had never gotten along.

Twenty minutes passed by and he watched as the childless mother turned and faced him, about a hundred yards away. How she recognized him, he didn't know, but he could almost see her scowl.

Her mother had the same eyes, bright and clear but they lacked the happiness he had found in hers. The older woman was strict, stern and very critical of Percy's presence from day one.

Percy wished he didn't care. He wished that it still wouldn't hurt. But it did and he hated himself for that.

The woman left after a while and he dragged his feet to where she had been.

The grave stone was weathered with soft grass around it. He read the inscription.

**Jan 12, 1993 – Nov 28, 2009  
>The Last Prayer Is Always For Family<strong>

The words had been chosen by her father. They didn't make any sense to Percy.

.

He found his life to be a monotone of classes, work, study, food and sleep for the next hundred days. When he was done with his first year at NYU, he realised that he had barely any friends, no close connections with teachers and no interest in any of his subjects.

There was a moment when he sat in his dorm room and felt absolutely alone and hopeless. Like there was no reason for anything. What was he even doing? The exams had gone by in a flash; Percy barely remembered even studying for them. He didn't put any effort into anything he did. He felt robotic, going through the day's motions with nothing to expect for the future. He couldn't see the point in his work and education. Why was he even studying?

Percy dropped out of the university and went back to the old apartment in the Upper East Side, his mother's home. She was married now. Paul Blofis was a good man and Percy could trust him, so it was good.

For a whole month, he stayed in his room, watching the mess pile up like the ruins of his life, wondering what his use was anymore. Percy had never been at such a low point.

He shouldn't have survived the accident. There wasn't any reason for him to. Why did she die and he didn't?

Percy stared at the pattern-less ceiling. He couldn't find any marks or cracks in the paint. He frowned, feeling the barely hidden pain rear an ugly head ready to destroy him again.

The door swung open and hit the wall with a loud 'bang.' He jumped and watched his mother stand there, with a very disappointed expression on her face.

"Get up. Pack some clothes and your toothbrush."

"Mom –"

"No!" Her eyes flashed and she glared at him. He had never seen her that angry in a long time.

"Listen to me. We're going to Montauk for five days and I want no arguments from you. I'm not going to let you give up."

He watched as she pulled out his travelling bag from under the bed and kicked it open. She gave him another look before leaving the room. Percy stared at his bag, eyes roaming over the frayed ends and worn cover. He sat up in his bed and knocked his head on the wall.

Montauk seemed good. It sounded... ..fresh.

Paul had opted to stay back stating that it should be a mother-son trip. Percy had shrugged and put on his headphones while she hummed during the entire drive there.

The moment salty air hit him he breathed it in.

The beach looked just as he had remembered it and the ocean was so blue and beautiful it made his heart ache. For the first time in more than a year, he didn't think about her, just the clear crystal waters of the Atlantic.

They stayed at the same cabin they had always been in. They made sand castles, tried out surfing, went boat riding and even camped out late to watch the stars.

There were no city noises, no unbearable traffic conditions, no worries about money and studies, no problems about the future and no baggage from the past.

Sally made sure that Percy could find new things to revel in. They started a shell collection and found a clam with the creature still alive. Percy threw it back into the ocean and smiled.

_Her_ name did not crop up during the entire time. It was five days of bliss. When they packed up for the return trip, Percy kissed his mother on the cheek and they held each other.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. She nodded and they went back to Manhattan with significantly less burden.

.

He couldn't find it in himself to leave for college again. He had failed the exams so there was no point.

His mother had convinced him to do_ something_, so he took up another job at the local discount store to regain a bit of semblance and have some responsibility.

On his first day, he wasn't able to concentrate enough to bag the customers' items and clear certain stocks which resulted in two dozen broken eggs, several fallen biscuits and lots of spilt milk. He was fired by evening and the manager had yelled so much that Percy began to shout back and it was the most energetic conversation he'd had in almost eighteen months.

He went back home, red faced and breathing hard, only to go out again the next day and get another job at a new restaurant on the block.

Strangely, he was good had balancing plates, so they gave him a trial run at taking orders and then made him a certified amateur waiter for the next six months.

One of the chefs was an ageing man who always left him extra chocolate ice cream at the end of his shift and the close relationship they had probably helped define his life. The old man had made Percy promise to get himself into the community college for the new year. Until then, just work hard.

Percy wasn't exactly sure what classes he wanted to take this time. He went online and browsed through various courses and almost fell for a faulty surfing course that swore up and down that one could get graduated in it.

But he did find a good enough marine biology stream that made him re think the choices he had. The chef was right. He would have to work hard.

"This is hard core." Thalia said, looking through the printed curriculum. She was one of the other waiters in the place who was also part of a rock band. Percy had honestly never talked to a member obsessed with the music community and it was like a whole new world, looking through her music notes and listening to her songs. Her singing voice was so very different from her talking voice.

"It's my plan." Percy confirmed feeling strangely giddy at having a plan after a very long time. It defined him in a certain way. "The Community College doesn't offer much, but I can get a scholarship to Columbia if I join the Swim team and I'm planning to do it in the next term."

Thalia nodded appreciatively. "Seems like you've got it all worked out. College isn't for me. Besides, our manager says we'll be going places if we can get good songs out in time for a record. There's a chance that we'll be the selection to play as an opening act for some world famous bands at MSG."

"Get me tickets." Percy replied, grinning.

Life was gathering meaning. He finally found a road to which he could tread on.

On one Friday evening, he still had one hour on the clock and the place had very few people for dinner. A mother and her daughter, two business men, one lone gent and three teens spread out in the diner. It was a slow night.

"Hey, I know them." Thalia murmured behind the counter. Percy, manning the register, took his eyes off the bills and looked at whom she was pointing.

The women at booth three looked like high maintenance customers. They wore professional shirts and skirts, sat back straight, opposite each other. The older woman had sharp eyes and strict features as she talked in low commanding tones to her daughter, who looked very submissive, nodding and answering at everything her mother said.

"Okay." Percy responded and turned back to his work. His tip for the day hadn't accounted for much, but he hoped said professional pair would leave a good amount.

By the time he was clocking out, he noticed the mother leave, a very haughty look on her face, while her daughter frowned at the table, not moving.

Percy turned back to Thalia who moved her fingers in a clockwise rotation and he sighed.

He walked over, noticing a very dejected aura over the young woman.

"Miss?" He asked, making sure that his voice was low for her state of thoughts. He felt bad for interrupting her because it looked like she had a very fast moving state of mind. She looked up and he felt his breath snatched away by the amount of emotions in her eyes. She looked so sad that he wanted to help her but he didn't know how.

"It's..." He cleared his throat, "It's closing time. I'm sorry, but it's already ten."

She stared as though she didn't understand at first but then nodded quickly looking very flustered. She grabbed her purse and almost ran out of the diner.

She didn't leave a tip.

.

The next time Percy met her, it was in Central Park.

He had a medium sized cup of chai tea latte from his favorite cafe shop and was strolling down the lane, admiring the greenery when someone bumped into him from behind. He nearly spilled his cup and looked at the culprit, when he realised it was the same woman with the large eyes from the diner.

Right now, her eyes looked squeezed in anger since their collision resulted in the spilling of all her papers she had been carrying.

"Arggh! I'm late!" She ranted picking up the files and papers and stuffing them unceremoniously into her laptop bag. Percy felt a little bad in the same instant and balanced his beverage on one of the stone tiles before helping gather her papers.

"Well, sorry. But you bumped into me." Percy pointed out, enduring another glare from her. He was starting to feel unduly angry. It wasn't his fault.

She started cramping her sheets in the bag when Percy picked up one of the papers which looked like a free hand drawing of the Empire State Building.

It was beautiful. It was brilliant sketch work. But it knocked the breath out of him and not in a good way.

His girlfriend used to have a hand like this. Like she could get anything down on paper and make it look even more realistic. He remembered her work of the Empire State, simple 2B and 4B pencil pairs, a sharp pointed eraser, a scale and about eight hours to perfect the two dimensional model. It had been one of her last works before the accident.

Suddenly, he couldn't breathe. The world went in and out of focus and he felt his balance disappear all together. He blinked rapidly, not finding an anchor to steady himself.

Percy shut his eyes as visions of the accident went through his head. _He saw her terrified and frozen form as the truck hit their car so violently that if his air bag hadn't blown into his face, he would have had his head slammed into the window._

_She hadn't put on her seatbelt. He saw her fly out through the glass. A scream tore through him and he felt like ripping his hair out. He had been too slow to grab her and hold her to him._

His hand latched on to the closest thing he felt, but he was still in the memory. Air was becoming stale. He couldn't breathe.

.

Percy wasn't sure how long he had been floating or had felt like he was drifting somewhere before he drew in a raspy gulp of air and tilted his head.

He was in a dull room which smelled of strong disinfectant. For a moment, he was so disoriented that he simply rested his head and groaned. Trying to think back on what happened before he ended up in a hospital room, he looked around.

Nothing in the room seemed to belong to him. He suddenly felt so lonely and cold in the unfriendly place. Sure he may have lost a most of his high school friends and haven't made new ones in recent months, but why was he alone?

A few minutes later, he tugged at the wire which measured his heart beats and the moment he pulled it out, the machine went on an uninterrupted high pitched sound, exactly like if he had been dead.

It felt very ominous.

A doctor and two nurses rushed into the room, looking frantic and harried out, but when they saw Percy sitting up and staring back at them with the wire in his hand, they calmed down.

They explained that he had suffered a panic attack. A severe one. They said that it was PTSD.

"A woman had called it in when you collapsed in the park. One of the patrolling medical officers gave you a check up and called in an ambulance. You were low on sugar, as well. I checked your records and talked to your parents, they're right outside. I'll let you go for now, but I strongly recommend stable nutrition and a prescription of antidepressants. I've given the slip to your mother."

"Panic attack." Percy muttered to himself as he left the room and was hugged by Mom and Paul. They started to fret over him and he promised to stay with them for the night before moving back to his small apartment which he could afford since two months.

.

Percy noticed the small number of people in his life taking him more seriously and treating him like a patient on his death bed. His mother was more worried and sweeter than usual (he didn't even know it was possible.) Paul had offered to loan him the car couple times a week, since Percy had to move back and forth the diner and another small place which took in his applications for college.

His friends at the diner made sure he ate enough before leaving after his shift. Thalia kidded less, she was not as brutally mature as she had always been with him around.

He hated it. He hated feeling weak and being made to live so carefully. It had happened just once. He had been fine until now and after one scare, everyone was acting up. He should have felt happy that they were concerned but he couldn't see it like that. They were on tight strings and were worried about him, because he was so _fragile_.

It felt like he was falling into depression again. The pills weren't for daily use and he couldn't have them often. The doctors didn't want him so dependent on the tablets and Percy realised that he needed an outlet.

One day, he smashed a picture of the both of them.

They were posing in front of a Ferris wheel in a carnival. She looked silly and funny and radiant. He had his eyes crossed, his arms around her, his lips pressed to her cheek.

Percy had picked up the photo frame and thrown it at the wall.

He cried all night.

.

He was losing it. At times, at every turn, he could see her, on the opposite side of the road or street. With cars crossing between them and people walking in a rush, Percy felt time slow down as he stared at his mind's conjuring. She was so far away.

His mother had called him telling him to consider a therapist. A shrink. He ended the call. He'd never hung up on his mother before.

He saw the world moving forward. He received a letter of confirmation from Columbia University. They were ready to take him in. All he had to do was work hard, study diligently and put in all his potential into his future.

He stared at the letter blankly before tossing it into the bin.

Percy felt the walls of his apartment close in on him. He was aware of his shallow breathing. He felt his heart beating thunderously. His chest ached. His mind went numb.

He looked up at the ceiling. The fan was still. He wondered if it could hold his weight.

A few seconds of consideration took up the entirety of his brain power before he grabbed his jacket and went out into the dull morning of April.

It wasn't as hot as it should have been.

He walked for twenty minutes, his feet taking him into the dense streets, his mind miles away.

A person couldn't just change the way they thought, could they? The world didn't work like that.

Percy slowed down, looked at all the people walking around him, the tall buildings surrounding them, inter-weaving like beads on cloth for a tapestry. This was the City of Dreams. Everyone in the world knew about New York City. They knew that they could make it big here. They saw all those TV sitcoms, those crime shows, the movies and they ate it up.

Percy could vouch for the fact that he was in his nightmare. Two years ago, he would never have thought of his life without _her_. And now he was basically in the gutter. If he did reject the CU application, that's where his life would be – in the gutter.

He felt his ears burn for some reason suddenly. Percy turned to the left and saw a familiar face. It took him a second to recognize the large eyes set in the soft featured face. The young woman from the restaurant.

She was in a professional white shirt and black skirt, wearing high heels. She had the same laptop bag from that day which looked heavy and full of papers. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun, with strands fluttering around her tired face and she was absolutely still, staring at him.

It took him only a beat of silence to walk towards her. He was not ten feet away when she stiffened and turned on her heel to march away.

Percy slowed down, but then took a faster pace, a sense of curiosity waking up his over stressed head. She weaved in and out of the pedestrians and he pushed through the grumbling people, all of whom seemed to go in the opposite direction.

She turned around and he saw her eyes widen when she noticed him closing the distance between them. She picked up her speed, half jogging, half power walking away from him.

Percy grunted as one hefty man smashed his shoulder into him. They exchanged glares, but Percy was now running towards her.

Suddenly, she took a turn into a quieter area, walking away from the crowds into seedier sections. He was just a few feet from her.

She went into a completely abandoned alley before turning around, with something in her hand and pointing it at his face. Before he could do anything, a searing heat wave hit his eyes, burning them. Percy gasped and clutched his face, trying to hold in a scream but easily letting out a string of swears into the air.

The pain went through his head and he felt like his face was on fire.

"What do you want?" The woman asked, panic clearly heard in her voice.

"I want the pain to stop, godammit! What did you do?"

He heard her shift away from him. "Why were you following me?"

"You were looking at me! And we've met before! Remember the diner? And the park?"

"So?"

"You called in the paramedics!"

"Yeah."

"I just wanted to thank you!"

There was silence but the heat in his eyes flared and he whimpered.

"Oh." She whispered. "Oh God, I'm so sorry! I thought... I – "

"I can guess." Percy managed to say. Damn the pain. "Sorry for scaring you."

"There's a shop nearby, should I get some raw meat for your eyes?"

Percy would have stared at her with an incredulous look if he could open his eyes. As it was, his voice portrayed his feelings, "I think ice packs are better."

.

They ate at a five star restaurant.

No kidding. She got him two ice packs and pack of frozen peas as backup. Then she took him to some fancy French place for a high quality lunch as a 'sorry for probably damaging your eyes.'

The pain was lessening, but his upper face felt swollen. His vision was blurry, but she had assured him that the effects of the pepper spray would be temporary. The ice packs were a huge relief and he liked peas.

The maître d' and the waiters treated him like a prince, offering delicacies with names he could hardly pronounce, appetizers, sizzlers, desserts and even champagne to which both he and she blushed.

It was clear that the woman was well known. And rich. After their meal, she gave them her credit card which looked very shiny and expensive.

"You know, you didn't really have to do all this." Percy said as the plates were cleared away.

She shrugged and gave a small smile. She was watching the way his hands moved. Percy hoped that he had held the spoon and fork right. Some rich folks were very particular about stuff like that.

"So, why were you staring at me? On the road? You seemed pretty shocked or something..." he trailed off when her phone buzzed a very boring telephone ring tone. Seriously?

She looked at the Caller ID and winced.

"I just found you outside of my comfort zone. Three times. It made me wonder." She said; her words cryptic in every way.

Percy nodded and then pressed the ice packs to his face, silently groaning in relief. The swelling seemed to be going down.

"I just..." She sighed, closing her eyes and suddenly looking tired of her entire life. "It gave me a fascinating chance to do something outside the plan, you know?"

"The Plan?"

She spread her fingers in vague gesture. "All my life, I was directed to aim for the best, for the top. I was supposed to grow up, be educated in all the right fields and take over my parents business when they retired. I couldn't stray from the path. They were convinced that any and all interference and distraction was unnatural, unnecessary and unwanted. And I just followed them."

Percy listened to the sob story. It sounded like she was brainwashed. "You're following their plan? What about you? Do you have a plan?"

She stared at him like he was an alien. Had no one ever asked her that? Had she never thought of it before?

"I'm late." She mumbled as the waiter brought back her card and receipt. She packed her bag and swung it over her shoulders.

"Um, hey! What's your name? I'm Percy." He called out, getting up and bumping his knee below the table.

She watched his fumble and looked wary and amused. A strange combination.

"Annabeth. I'm not supposed to but I hope to see you again, Percy."

.

His eyes were stinging and his head hurt a bit. The ice packs were melting and freezing his hands. His stomach was full with strange exotic food and he was in over his head at the thought of Annabeth.

Man, that was so poetic and corny.

Percy let the door shut behind him and he stared around his small apartment.

What was his plan?

He dropped the ice packs and walked over to the dustbin to unfold the university acceptance letter.

Annabeth was unlucky to have to listen to someone else and not be able to do what she wanted to. But Percy? Everyone supported him. Everyone cared for him, ready to catch him if he fell. He was lucky. Far more fortunate than he had ever realised.

And he was taking his life for granted.

He looked up at the fan. The thing was dusty and cast strange shadows on the ceiling. He was so glad that he went out for that walk.

Percy took out his phone and called his mother and Paul, informing them about his new subjects at CU.


End file.
